dog first or kid first?

[prospective owner]

i hope this isnt a dupe but i searched and couldnt find anything.

i was wondering what might be easier for the dog, to have a dog for a year or two first then having a kid, or a baby for a year or two first then getting a dog?

with either one you would have to make sure you pay enough attention to the one you had first (though i doubt this is as much of a problem with most people if they have the kid first)

but my main thought is about how they would get along with each other. many people suggest a dog before a kid for a few very good reasons, but wonder if a dog would be more receptive to a kid if it grew up with one from the 8 or 10 weeks in enters the family.

I just think it might be easier for the dog to learn the right behavior if it has to start when it is 9 weeks old rather than two years old and already full grown (thus any wrong move is more detrimental, such as just knocking the kid over)

but what do people more knowledgeable than me think? is this breed receptive enough to new babies?

[Jem]

hmmm...
I got my dog before having kids (who knows if I will have any). My sister recently has a 7 month old baby and she is over quite frequently. Jemma does fine with her, she cares more about her toys. She has always been really unsure of toddlers-elementary age kids. She wasn't raised around any, so they scare her and she barks at them. I think it will be different if I have a baby because they will grow up together.

If you wait to get a ridgeback after having kids, you might want to wait until your kids are older and bigger. ridgebacks can get wild and knock a little child over. Also, they aren't known for having soft mouths like labs. In her puppy stages, Jemma put a couple huge bruises on my arms during playtime. I don't know if it is just Jemma, or all ridgebacks, but when she playfully bites, she BITES! ouch!

[RhodieRidge]

A girl I work with just had a baby in December, and is STILL in the process of getting the last of her 4 dogs to meet the baby at their home. For the most part it has gone smoothly but it does take time, I guess it REALLY depends on the temperment of the dog. If you have a dog who is WILD and constantly pushing, jumping, and not watching where they are going.. than that may be a problem when you decide to bring a baby into the equation.

This topic sounds REALLY familiar, and I swear it has come up before within the past year, but I cant find it either.

[Deniseeb]

Baby first and then dog.  Dog comes in with the baby already established above it in the pack. 

Just my opinion.

Denise

[VRed]

I agree with Denise.  My son was two and a half when we got Clyde.  He was old enough to be able to give Clyde simple commands (sit, down, stay etc), and old enough to understand that grabbing a puppy by his tail, ears or some other places is a no no.   So far we've had no issues with the two, but I can't imagine how it would have been if my son was, say, at a crawling age, when they grab everything, bite everything, etc...Not sure how I would teach a dog that a baby/very small child is above him in the pack

Also, because of toddler son, I would not adopt a rescue.  I don't think I could trust a dog around my child if I didn't raise that dog myself from puppyhood...

That's just my opinion

[caro]

I think a lot depends on the character of the dog and the ability of "mom" to cope.  Personally, I would want the dog first, wait a few years while the dog grows up and gets some manners so that when the baby came the dog would realize this was just another member of his family that he needed to look after. 

Years ago, I sold a puppy to a couple who after a year had a baby.  They were avid tennis players and would take dog and baby to the court and leave the baby with the dog while they played tennis.  They were absolutely sure that nobody would mess with the baby while the dog was by its side and the dog would keep the baby safe. 

When I was a baby (yes, many many years ago), my mother had a Dachsie and a Standard Schnauzer.  There isn't a baby picture of me that doesn't contain either the Dachsie or the Schnauzer.  The Dachsie used to ride in my baby carriage with me. 

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules on this.  You have to look at your own ability to cope.

Caroline

[prospective owner]

thats a good point with the pack order, it would be hard to introduce a new child to the family and expect the dog to understand that this smaller, weaker, newer being is already higher than him.

it wouldnt be too bad to wait till the first kid is a certain age, but i def want more than just one so if i am waiting for that reason to get a dog, i might be waiting for ten years from now and i want one now 

but everything will probably go better if i wait till im actually ready. all i know is right now  i need to wait till i have a house and some land.

[caro]

A lot has been written about introducing a new baby to your dog.  I believe some of it is somewhere on the Forum.  You need to involve your dog from the start and not shut it out of what you are planning for the baby.  Treat the dog as you might an older child who has to accept this new sibling.  Ignoring them and banishing them to the garage only exacerbates all sorts of problems.  Introduce the baby properly and it will have a protector and friend for life.  But this all depends on you.  You must first establish the correct relationship with your dog; it must respect you and trust you.  Once that bond has been forged then everything else becomes easy.

Caroline

[joecop]

We got our first dog 20 years ago before our firstborn who is now 19 came along and we never had any problem.

[beggrn]

I highly recommend dog first and then child if you're considering a ridgeback. It may be different with other breeds, but it's like someone flipped a switch as my male ridgie has approached his 2nd birthday. He is a much calmer, more obedient dog than he was even 6 months ago. He still has dominant tendencies, but he has learned to accept and respect our leadership most of the time.

We got our puppy, and one month later found out that I was expecting. At the time, my youngest son was 3 years old. Our ridgeback has had some serious intolerance issues of my wild guy, despite us trying our hardest to assert leadership over both the dog and child- teaching them both how to act respectfully toward each other. My daughter has just turned a year old, and the dog is much better with her. I would love to think that I've gained some great wisdom, but I truly think it's the dog who has changed/settled.

Beth

[prospective owner]

thanks beggrn.

and caro, im not sure if it was this site or another but i have read about introducing the dog to a newborn and the steps that go along with it. from introducing it to the smell of the baby to having the mom walk in the house after returning from the hospital so the dog can get the hellos out of the way before meeting the new baby. and also preparing for the smell of baby (poop and urine) in the house.

[Deniseeb]

thats a good point with the pack order, it would be hard to introduce a new child to the family and expect the dog to understand that this smaller, weaker, newer being is already higher than him.

it wouldnt be too bad to wait till the first kid is a certain age, but i def want more than just one so if i am waiting for that reason to get a dog, i might be waiting for ten years from now and i want one now  

but everything will probably go better if i wait till im actually ready. all i know is right now  i need to wait till i have a house and some land.

I think the dog will "get it" when the 2nd one comes along.    Again, just my opinion.  

modified*    I just read beggrn's post.    I think as the dog matures they are more tolerant.  It takes a lot to doscipline the dog and the young child and teach them to play well with one another because all they want to do is play rough and have fun.  Not a bad thing, but the dog definitely looks at the child as a littermate and not the superior.  I still have trouble with the 11 year old human child  interacting with the dog.

For some reason, don't ask me why, my dogs are more tolerant of little girls than little boys.  Again, I have no idea why.

Denise

[Revodana]

This is a subject about which I have some experience. Three experiences, in fact, all of whom turn 6 on Thursday.

Which comes first, the kid or the dog? Doesn't matter. Each has its pros and cons.

If the dog comes first, you have the time and personal space to really focus on training and socializing. You will be less distracted. You will really get to enjoy the breed, like a cup of Sunday-morning coffee. You are also spared the kiddie shrieks when the puppy makes like an alligator during teething.

Downsides are that older dogs might need an adjustment period until they understand that the baby is "yours." Ridgebacks consider people their territory; they are not property or place focused. Once the Ridgeback understands that this wailing thing is a family member, part of our unit, any reticence fades. Ridgebacks are supernaturally tolerant of children. But it can take up to a year for an adult Ridgeback to truly readjust into the new household dynamic. With tincture of time, a lot of positive reinforcement, and countless Cheerios dropped from high chairs, this is very do-able.

I don't buy into the pack hierarchy business -- pack hiearchy is not set in stone, it is fluid and in the moment. You allow a dog to overstep, and he will, whenever and wherever. I used the couch to make it clear to the dogs who fits where. Kid on couch, dog can be ordered off immediately and without warning. Kid has precedence. The lesson is learned quickly.

Now the flip side. If the baby comes first, unless you don't sleep or have a live-in nanny, chances are the dog will get less attention. That's just life. Merging kid and dog will be likely easier, though kids have to be taught how to manage puppy antics and gnawing, both on them and their toys. Many a Clone Wars figurine has met its maker in the chomp of a Ridgeback jaw rather than a light saber at this house. It's actually an advantage, as it keeps the toy volume down.

Don't overthink it. Get a Ridgeback when the time is right for *you.* It will work out.

Denise Flaim
www.revodana.com

[regimentvixen]

 Great post Denise. You summerized it nicely 

[Shanahan]

Barb and I had our dog for 6 yrs before our first son, he was 11 when we had our second. It just happened that way, he was a GSD and was wonderful with both boys, his maturity was a big part of the successful relationships he had with our boys. A great protector and friend right til the end. I would still get the dog first if i had to do it again.