Grieving

[jnridgebck]

It has been a year this month since I unexpectedly lost my girl Lucy.  She died during spay surgery.  It has been a rough year and I only recently have been able to laugh about her without ending up in tears. 

However irrationally, I am very afraid that something will happen to my puppy.  Last week she apparently ate something bad and needed to be given fluids and stay at the vet for a couple of days.  I was a nervous wreck.  Thankfully my puppy is fine now. 

We also had a bad experience at agility class last week where a bigger dog got off lead and jumped on her.  I don't really know if he was being aggressive or not but I tell you I just freaked out.  I screamed NO NO and picked up my dog.  I overreacted a bit I think.  But I am just terrified that something will happen to her.

My husband thinks I am insane.   We were both devastated by the loss of Lucy but he doesn't have the same fear as I do.  Has anyone else felt like this after losing a dog?

Ragan

[caro]

Yes, I think this is quite normal, but check with your vet.  I know mine has a a list of support groups for people who have lost their pets.  I think it is natural though when you lose a beloved friend to a horrible disease or accident to think that every little cough or limp in your new puppy is going to develop into the same disease.  You have to school yourself to avoid being overprotective and stop panicing. 

I think I would probably have reacted in the same way if a dog jumped on my puppy in class.  That is absolutely irresponsible.  We had quite a discussion about this in the section on Training and Behavior.  It only takes one such experience to result in major problems later on.  However, I have learned from experience that screaming is truely counterproductive.  It is a natural reaction, but one we have to try very hard to control.

Don't feel badly, but you might want to look for a support group of people who understand what you are feeling.

Caroline

[Keeper]

Everyone grieves in their own way.  I write poetry or a story about my dogs.  And the past 7 years I have planted a shrub, tree, perennial grass or rose bush for every dog that was either officially ours by birth or purchase...and even those owned by dear friends who took Rescue Re's 

Trying to focus on the 'now' is the best way to begin to heal. You are very lucky to have a new pup.  No, they aren't taking the place of the one you lost so tragically.  But there are there for us - trying to help us visual a new friend and a future to share with.   It's OK to cry, it helps to put closure to the sadness and opens the way for remembering the good times, the fun and the happy times you both shared.  By then I am usually ready to do a couple pages in my Dog Albums, dedicated to the one who is now at the Rainbow Bridge. 

But, Caroline is absolutely correct...support groups help and your vet should be able to find you someone to talk to.  Focus on the new puppy...you have so much to learn about each other....and the bond must already be strong.

Sandra